Young love can seem so innocent, but it’s not immune to issues of emotional and physical abuse, unhealthy patterns and conflict.

Early on in a relationship, a young person may not fully recognize signs that the relationship could be headed down the wrong path, according to Carrie Sundstrom, community prevention educator in the domestic abuse and sexual assault program with the Women’s Resource Center of Northern Michigan.

“The signs don’t usually take place early on in the relationship. The abuse often happens later in the relationship when trust, a bond, ties and love are already established,” she said. “The abuse is often manipulative and may even appear flattering. It may be difficult for a victim of abuse to recognize signs — even if they are blunt signs — because even in a healthy relationship, couples have conflicts.”

In navigating relationship territory, teens and young adults should consider a number of factors to stay on a positive track, Sundstrom noted. Those positive steps include:

- Respect: Listening non-judgmentally, being emotionally affirming and understanding and valuing opinions.

- Communication. Communicating openly and truthfully, being honest to oneself and to one’s own feelings.

- Trust and support: Supporting each other’s goals, respecting each other’s rights and individual feelings, friends, activities and opinions. This also involves overcoming jealousy issues of envy and resentment.

- Non-threatening behavior: Talking and acting to make your partner feel safe to express him/herself and making a commitment not to use threats or manipulative actions.

- Independence and autonomy: Recognizing interdependence and being aware of dependence needs. Accepting individual “separateness” is important, along with fostering individual identity.

- Honesty and accountability: Accepting responsibility for self and acknowledging if there has been past use of violence.

- Negotiation and fairness: Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict, accepting change and being willing to compromise.

For parents

Sundstrom said parents can play a role in protecting their teens by looking out for dramatic changes in their life, such as dropping out of activities or sports they have always loved, not hanging out or talking to friends he or she has had for a long time, dropping grades and being secretive.

“Questions to ask your teens: Where they are going and who is going to be there? Listen when they are talking and don’t be judgmental, even when you have a definite opinion; ask them how they are feeling … Don’t dismiss what they are saying by thinking ‘Oh this is this week’s drama, we will be onto something else next week.’

“Store in your mind things they are saying. You might observe a negative pattern in their relationship.”

For teens

For young people who think they might be in an abusive relationship, or they’re in a situation that makes them uncomfortable, Sundstrom advises them to talk to a trusted adult such as parents or other relative, teacher, counselor, coach, friends’ parents or the Women’s Resource Center Crisis & Information Hotline, (800) 275-1995.

Teens often confide in their friends first, Sundstrom said. Some tips if your friend is in an unhealthy relationship and confides: Listen; believe; do not judge; be supportive; tell friend the abuse is not her fault; support her right to make her own decisions (telling her what to do will not be helpful); provide resource information; educate yourself on this topic; and protect her privacy — only a trusted adult should be told, offer to go with her for support.